I am currently sitting in the patient / visitor lounge, avec IV pole. I felt a little better today, so I thought I'd go for a walk and check email and such.
Feeling very frustrated. They think I have an eating disorder. I get why; I have dropped a few pounds off my already small frame. I'm down to 42.8kg or 94lbs, which is low for me, but considering that I was already quite thin, it's not shocking. "Wouldn't someone who had an eating disorder own a scale?!" I shot back to the dietitian when she asked me how often I weigh myself. They seem to be mistaking what chemo is doing to my body for a body image complex. I want to scream. It's not my fault that I feel too nauseated to eat half the time, and the rest of the time, I have mouth ulcers that make it difficult to chew or swallow. And when I do feel ok, I am pounding the food back like nobody's business. I dream of food. Seriously. I am so bored, and lying here most of the time looking forward to my next meal. And now I have a dietitian, and two doctors probing into my childhood and my adolescent relationship with food. They have the wrong girl.
What's more, they are poopooing all over my vegan diet. They're doing everything to convince me to let eggs and dairy back into my world. I told the dietitan that I am quite lactose intolerant, so she was willing to drop the dairy pushing, but is still on the egg train. I said I would consider it.
This is discrimination!
4 comments:
Merry Christmas, my darling Laura! Hope things are somewhat more comfortable for you this week. Lots of love from me (&Tim).
k
happy holidays. may the new year bring renewed joy to your world.
sincerely,
jack.
Maybe you should tell that you felt just fine about your body image before, but that you are now feeling "a bit fat for a chemo patient."
Sass them. They'll be sorry they started with you.
that is a great idea. i am going to try that one next time. seriously.
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